Let's assume that you have an enthusiastic patient who has sent you a significant number of referrals. You follow your habit of developing good patient relationships .A thank you note and a red rose are given with each referral. Then, one day, you are chatting with a neighbor while shopping in a nearby Costco. Suddenly, a familiar face, covered in smiles, approaches you with an extended hand. That person calls you by name and shakes your hand vigorously. There is an awkward moment or two as you flounder about, searching your memory and uncertain as to your next step. Your new arrival waits expectantly for a sign of recognition and your neighbor, sensing that no introduction is forthcoming, asks to be excused because of an important appointment.

Flop beads of perspiration are developing on your forehead and upper lip. The smile on the face of your confronter begins to wane. You are embarrassed beyond words. By this time, your confronter has adopted a cynical smirk as the identity is revealed. It turns out that this is the very person who has been one of your supporters and referral sources. You feel small enough to fall through a crack in the floor.     

Practice management specialists have estimated that a successful practice is based on 15% knowledge and 85% in knowing how to deliver our services to the patient. We eye care providers are frequently called upon to appear before audiences and engage in social activities that bring us into contact with groups, large and small. It is incumbent upon us to remember names and faces. It is one of the best ways to make a favorable first impression and helps us to improve our practice growth and social comfort.

Although lapses in memory are associated with growing older, almost anyone can benefit from memory boosting tactics. Memory, like muscular strength, is a "use it or lose it" proposition. Our name is one of those hardwired words in our subconscious (like "free" or "sex") which has an intrinsic trigger to get our attention. You are more likely to react and respond to the sound of your name than any other word. We can make people feel important. It wins their goodwill and opens the door to a successful relationship.

It has been stated that novelty and sensory stimulation are the foundations of brain exercise. If you break your routine in a challenging way, you are using brain pathways that you weren't using before. Examples are: brushing your teeth with your opposite hand or showering and getting dressed with your eyes closed. It is also suggested that one should take a course in an unfamiliar subject, learn a new game involving strategy or cook up some recipes in a different or exotic cuisine. These suggestions tend to keep the synapses firing.     

Here are some memory improvement steps to follow:     

1. Give it your best effort. Decide to make a conscious commitment to remember people's names. You must apply yourself to work at it. Before attending a meeting or a social event, say to yourself, "I will make my best effort to remember the names and faces of the people that I meet."  
       

2. Pay attention while you observe. If you are distracted or not concentrating, you won't register the person's name and thus it is not likely you will remember it. Pay attention to the person's name when you first hear it and try to form an impression of the person. 
   
   If you miss hearing the name or find that a few moments later you have already forgotten it, say, "I'm sorry. I missed your name. Can you give it to me again?"If you still have trouble with it, say, "I'm sorry but would you please spell it out for me?" Pray that they won't say "Smith." Just be diplomatic and graceful. Try not to appear like a dolt. The more vividly you observe people's physical characteristics, the more likely you are to remember them. Use all your senses to get the most striking impression. 
       

3. Repetition helps to engrave the name in your memory. Use the name immediately and repeat it silently to yourself. Use it occasionally in the conversation and when taking your leave. Write it down afterwards.     
   

4. Make an association between the person's face and an image that the name suggests. Exaggerate the image. Make it larger or give it movement connected with some feature of the person's face. This makes the image more memorable. You might remember visual images easier. Link the name to some physical characteristic of the person. 

Be careful! If you are remembering Mr. Oates' name and associate it with his horse like facial appearance, don't address him as Mr. Horseface. If you are more efficient with sounds, you might use a rhyme or a song lyric that associates the person's name with your impression. Examples of this are: Michelle-ma belle (remember the Beatles?) or Alice's chalice or Dave needs a shave. There are sensory feelings, instincts and reactions to bring into play to help us to remember names. Examples are: "Al Decker is a pain in the necker," "Joe is a rogue," or "Fannie is canny."

Exaggerate the sound of the name. Prolong the syllables. The funnier, the more exaggerated or disturbing it becomes, the better it will be for remembering. Break the name into several distinguishable parts. Associate parts of the name with words you are already familiar with and can easily pronounce. If you can create a little story containing familiar words to serve as memory stimulating cues, this can be highly visual if the story sounds silly and provokes laughter. In addition to forgetting a face or a name, our memories are also challenged by trying to remember a birthday, a social date or wondering if we forgot to lock the front door.

And finally, the unkindest cut of all, "What was I looking for in this room?" Some experts have hypothesized that diet and exercise also directly influence memorization. Some foods that are considered helpful are: certain fruits such as oranges, bananas, blueberries and avocados. Also, salmon, eggs and spinach are considered helpful not only in body health but in the area of memory skills. We are cautioned to avoid alcohol and sugar loaded soft drinks. Water and natural fruit or vegetable juices are recommended in their stead. Add broccoli, asparagus, strawberries, melons, black beans, soy beans, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, green tea, nuts, seeds, liver and whole grains to the memory assistance list.

Did we forget to mention the healthy fats, vitamin B6, B12, folic acid, antioxidants, vitamin E, and beta carotene? We mustn't forget Omega fatty acids, the lowly herring, tuna, halibut, mackerel, walnuts, flaxseed and the various and sundry supplements sought by senior citizens. Exercise can boost our memory power. Routine exercises increase the level of oxygen in the blood and thus to the brain. Many people claim that they are more clear minded during and after exercise routines. The need for adequate rest is coupled with any exercise regimen. A good sleep each night is very effective toward memory improvement. One should try to schedule a regular bed time for each night and aim toward eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Another offshoot of this program is in regard to meditation. Time to think alone is important. One could try yoga, relaxation response methods, soaking in a tepid bath and long solitary walks. These activities provide relaxation and clear the mind.     

Now we have a complete dossier on memory improvement. It behooves us to remember "what's his name."  That patient will appreciate it and the practitioner will reap the rewards of an ideal doctor-patient relationship.

It was Dale Carnegie who said, "A person's name is to him or her, the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

Elmer Friedman, O.D.
elmerf@verizon.net